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PERSPECTIVE

Josh's Mipcom FAQ

By Josh Selig 19-09-2017

Q: Any tips for a goofball first-timer?
A: Yes, never refer to yourself as ‘a goofball first-timer.’ And if someone says something you don’t understand, just smile like the Cheshire Cat and say ‘totally.’

Q: What’s the difference between an agent and a lawyer?
A: Pomade.

Q: My show is about a mollusc. I’m thinking about dressing up as a mollusc when I pitch. Good idea?
A: No. You should never wear anything that will cause embarrassment to anyone sitting next to you. Most adults are quite self-conscious, even if you are not.

Q: What is a ‘coproduction?’
A: It’s like when friends go out to eat but they don’t have enough money to pay the bill. So they ask their governments to cover the difference.

Q: Isn’t that awkward?
A: Not as awkward as not eating.

Q: Do you have any advice for doing business in China?
A: I do. In China, ‘yes’ means ‘maybe.’ And ‘maybe’ means ‘no.’

Q: What does ‘no’ mean?
A: No.

 
Q: Is it true that some companies in Cannes actually have their meetings on yachts?
A: Yes, that’s true. Yachts are for companies going through a mid-life crisis. Always act very impressed when you arrive and then sit near the lifeboat.

Q: How late is ‘fashionably late’ at Mipcom?
A: Forty-five seconds. Try to be respectful of people’s time. In Cannes, time is like crème brûlée – it goes quickly and you can never get enough.

Q: Who pays for dinner?
A: Good question. Whoever has more power should pay. If you’re not sure who has more power, see the list below:
Network > Indie
US channel > SVoD platform
Nordic channel < SVoD platform
Licensing consultant > Educational consultant
Canada = Australia
VC > EP
In production > In receivership
NHK x EBS = CCTV
Nico Franks > Josh Selig
Reed Midem = God

Q: What’s the difference between gelato and ice cream?
A: €4.

Q: What is VAT?
A: Vindictive Airport Tax.

Q: Do you think algorithms will soon redefine content?
A: Totally.

Q: Registration is expensive, Cannes is far, French people are mean to me and rosé gives me hives. So, I ask you, do I really need to go to Mipcom?
A: Yes, you need to go. Why? Because TV is a contact sport, a sweat lodge, a mosh pit. No one gets anywhere alone, not even a brooding introvert like me. So, show up. Pitch and be pitched. Schmooze and be schmoozed. Explain to people why doing business with you is not the worst idea they’ll hear along the Croisette. Oh, and one more thing: make sure your shows are really, really good. Everything else at Mip will fade away like the smell of garlic and butter. And never mistake the foam for the wave.

Q: What does FAQ stand for?
A: Finished Answering Questions.


 

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today's correspondent

Josh Selig Founder and president Little Airplane Productions

Josh Selig is the founder of Little Airplane Productions. He is the creator and executive producer of Wonder Pets! on Nick Jr (winner of the 2009 Japan Prize for Best Television Series), as well as 3rd & Bird and Small Potatoes, both of which aired on CBeebies and Disney Junior.

Josh is executive producer of Super Wings on Sprout and the co-creator and executive producer of P King Duckling, which premiered on Disney Junior US and airs on CCTV in China. Josh has received 11 Emmys in multiple categories.